Forty Years in the Making

I completed the first draft of this story well over forty years ago.  At that time a publisher had selected for publication.  I was subsequently informed by my agent that the book, then titled Generation After, had been removed from the publication list because, “The public is not ready for stories dealing with the Holocaust.”

Life being what it is, I had a few friends read the story before I buried the manuscript in the proverbial sock drawer where, from time to time, I pulled it out, revised it, sent it to publishers and buried it even deeper.

I have often asked myself why I wasn’t more persistent in pursuing publication.  I don’t know the answer to that question with any sense of accuracy, but here goes.  I start with the proposition that I shouldn’t publish a story about the horrors of the Holocaust without having street creds with respect to the subject. 

As I have noted before, my family blessedly escaped the atrocities and what I actually know has come from reading and listening to survivors who have been willing to tell their stories.  Forty years ago there were not so many people willing or emotionally able to tell their stories, accordingly much of what Bernard Helgman (my fictitious character) experienced in the camp is pure imagination.  Life in the camps was so horrible as to defy even the most active imagination, and so I have been reluctant to pursue publication because I don’t want to trivialize the Calamity. 

Out of the Depths, while entirely fictional, deals with one person’s anguish over what he did in the camp in order to preserve his own life.  This anguish is manifest after his release and affects everyone who knows him. (taken from David's notes)

Elie Wiesel

Posted by Pat McGrath Avery

"Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust." From Night by Elie Wiesel

With the release of Out of the Depths, David has brought a Holocaust issue to my mind - survivor's guilt. As I've focused on his character, Dr. Bernard Helgman, I've tried - unsuccessfully - to put myself in his shoes. What he endured and tried to forget is beyond my imagination.

This morning I read about Elie Wiesel's death. I read his book, Night, years ago. It was my introduction to the horrors people suffered in the Holocaust. He brought it to life. His contribution to society is immeasurable. He made the world aware of the atrocities that one group of humans can inflict on another. I wonder how many millions he influenced. Did we learn anything or will we allow history to repeat itself in another time and place?

The world has lost an outstanding writer and the Holocaust victims a passionate voice. We mourn his passing but thank God for his life.

I've read several blog posts about him. They too mourn his death. Mindy Phillips Lawrence asks soul-searching questions in her new blog, http://thoughts-like-clouds.blogspot.com.

Post by Pat McGrath Avery

Joyce Faulkner and I have worked with numerous veterans over the last fifteen years. We have found many common threads among them. One of the most frequently found is a lingering sense of guilt - because they survived when others in their unit didn't or because someone else was injured or killed for something they did or didn't do.

How many people do you know who carry a sense of guilt? Maybe the woman who was molested or raped and feels that in some way it was her fault - or the abused child who knows he had to do something bad to be repeatedly beaten by his dad (or mom). Maybe it's the person who survived a car wreck or another accident when everyone else died - or the fireman that couldn't save that child.

Whatever the situation, guilt consumes them. I think we all know guilt at some level. It influences our lives in so many ways. In Out of the Depths, David explores a person haunted by guilt for the things he did to survive his years in a Nazi concentration camp.

David, the author of the popular 'Padre' adventure series set in South Padre Island (TX) steps out of his comfort zone in his new book, Out of the Depths. Written years ago but buried among his life's work, David has stepped forward with the "book of his heart," in this moving study of survivor's guilt.

Of Jewish heritage, but not of direct Holocaust survivor lineage, David understands the pain of those who lost their family history - their past that harks back to parents and grandparents, aunt and uncles,  family friendships, and community. For years, he felt he had no right to speak to their pain, but now his story must be told.

Out of the Depths is a novel that explores the burden of guilt - in this case an innocent's guilt. The human condition predisposes us to accept responsibility for happenings beyond our control. Most of us can identify by the crippling consequences it produces.

Out of the Depths will be available this summer with an official launch date of October 1.